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It's everything.

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Let's normalize asking for consent.

Understanding Consent

Consent is an agreement between participants to have sexual relations. Consent is about maintaining open communication between partners about what sexual activities they want to have and how.

Laws about consent change from state to state. However, in Washington State consent means that at the time of the act of sexual intercourse or sexual contact there are actual words or conduct that indicate a freely given agreement to have sexual intercourse or sexual contact ( RCW 9A.44.010)

Some things to consider:

​Consent must be given every time. You and your partner should have the freedom and security to say when you do not want to participate in any sexual act or any part of the sexual act. Consent is a process.

Just because you're in a relationship, it doesn't mean you're giving consent. Even if it is the thousandth time you have sexual relations, consent must be given. It doesn't matter if they are married.

Consent cannot be assumed. It must be explicit and clear. The saying "he who remains silent grants" should not apply to consent. The absence of a "No," does not mean "Yes."

If the person does not feel safe, or there is pressure, coercion, manipulation, or the person is incapacitated, asleep, or under the influence of alcohol or drugs, then they cannot give consent.

The absence of consent means you must stop. If someone in the sexual activity has not given consent, then what is happening is rape or sexual assault.

 is sexy.

Myths About Consent

​"It is your duty to satisfy your partner's sexual desire" FALSE. It is not your responsibility to fulfill all of your partner's sexual desires. Sexual acts must be mutually agreed upon.(

"If she dresses provocatively it's because she wants sex" FALSE. The way a person dresses never constitutes consent. Consent must be explicit and clear.

"If she says 'No,' insist. She wants you to beg her." FALSE. We must accept "No" as an answer and that's it. "Begging" a person for a relationship can become a form of harassment.

"If they're nice to you it is because they like you" FALSE. People have different ways of expressing themselves. Expressing kindness toward someone does not necessarily mean that the person wants something more. Before assuming something and acting, talk to the person, clarify things. (

"Asking for consent ruins the moment" FALSE. There are different ways of giving consent that are exciting. Consent must be given every time there are sexual acts.


If you need to talk to an advocate, give us a call at 509-795-2028.

Types of Sexual Violence

Supporting Someone

After a Sexual Assault

Domestic Violence

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